The Substance

A Penny for my thoughts?

I just finished watching The Substance.

First off, hello?? I think the producers told the writers and editors to freely express themselves, because if not, explain those scenes to me. But that is beside the point. A lot of people are actually missing the point by thinking it’s just about entertainment, with their ratings and takes on the production. While the goal of a movie is to provide entertainment, this type of movie should also provoke thought and deep self-reflection in you.

In a world where our images are treated as a trend, where body shaming is rampant and supposed to be a joke, every morning people find a way to create a new insecurity. With time, it gains momentum, becomes normalized, and something that was once very normal is suddenly seen as something that needs to be changed. The standard of beauty is forever changing, so you wonder why you’re always running toward every new trend.

The only way you won’t run toward trends is when you agree that you’re adequate, a conviction that no one will be able to take from you.

If you ask me, I’ll say that The Substance is one of the closest portrayals of self-inadequacy.

This is not a movie review.

Although a bit exaggerated, I think, toward the end, the message was clear: not loving yourself at every point will eventually cost you.

Elizabeth, the star who played in the movie, was very beautiful at the age she was. I said to myself, “What a beautiful woman. It would be such great luck to look like that at that age.” But when the director said he wanted someone younger, that was the beginning of her undoing.

The directors in our lives are none other than the people around us, society, friends, family, etc., the people who carry the power to define our self-worth. I’ll even go further and say the mirror itself.

You know when you pick up your phone and look for that favorite filter, the one that makes your face look slimmer, your nose pointier, your skin clearer, then you say, “If I looked like this, I’d be finer”? The truth is that even if you looked like that, you’d still find a way to search for an imperfection.

Red Pill or Blue Pill.

Red Pill: you get to have the body of the person you admire the most for a stipulated time.

Blue Pill: you have your own body and reach your fullest potential.

What do you choose? The Red Pill is only possible if you believe in a genie, but the Blue Pill is something you have the power to work toward. You work toward it every day by saying something positive about yourself, eating healthy, drinking healthy, exercising, and showing appreciation for yourself.

How do I convince someone who doesn’t see themselves as beautiful? How do I start? What can I say that you won’t frown at or turn up your nose at? You’ll say, “How would she know? She has never lived my life.”

The truth is, I have never lived your life. The second truth I know is this: hatred for yourself will be your undoing.

I guess I’m beginning to understand “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.” The verse is so simple, but I think it holds one of the greatest meanings ever. How far will you go to love yourself? I’m not talking about superficial love. I’m talking about in-depth love that covers a multitude of sins.

Is the love you have for yourself kind? Are you kind when you make mistakes? Are you kind to yourself when you find out that you’re not good at something, or do you pull yourself down with “Oh, I’m so dumb,” “Why am I getting this wrong?” or “This relationship failed, it shows I’m a failure”?

Or are you kind to yourself by saying, “I just need to study more, I’ll get it,” “Haha, it’s not so hard, maybe it’s just not for me,” or “It didn’t work out, let me have some self-reflection”?

Is the love you have for yourself patient? When you think, “Why am I so delayed in life?” or “My life is useless,” do you instead say, “I know I’ll get there someday”?

This all sounds cliché, right? Well, I have news for you: this is the type of cliché romance you should be having with yourself.

The love you should have for yourself should look something like this. You may have more of one than the other, but it should be balanced:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

Can you try to give yourself this type of love consciously, and just see how much sunlight will come to you?

I know life is not a bed of roses, but I’m not talking about life. I’m not talking about things you have no control over. I’m not talking about things that are external to you. I’m talking about things you can impact directly, things that have to do with you.

There’s an empty container somewhere in your house. You can even grab one on your way home. Get a pen and paper. You’ll write something positive that your future self will read every day for the next 100 days, fold it, and put it all in the jar. Put it by your dressing mirror, in the bathroom, or somewhere you’ll reach for it every day.

For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. Write the most positive things, the things you’ll read every morning.

I cannot begin to talk about treating others right if you cannot treat yourself right.

I do hope you do this exercise. In the next hundred days, we will revisit this.